Stacy Hoffer, MA, M.Div, MSW, LCSW

Are you worried about your child?  Is your child perhaps "learning different", with Dyslexia or ADD/ADHD, and/or gifted, and his self esteem is suffering?  Are you wrangling with the school system, trying to get the best for your child, but getting frustrated in the process? Maybe you've noticed a change in mood, like increasing anger and irritability.  Or you've seen a change in behavior, or unexplained headaches or stomach aches.  You've gone to the pediatrician, and been told that medically your child is fine.  Many times, young children do not have the words to tell us what is wrong, but when we carefully observe them we can get the message loud and clear: " I need some extra help."

I can help you and your child with:  Depression, Anxiety,  Phobias, Performance Anxiety, OCD,  Low Self Esteem, Feeling "different" due to learning differences, such as Dyslexia and ADD/ADHD, Bed Wetting, Oppositional Behavior, Trauma, Grief & Loss issues, Stress due to family problems and/or school problems, Eating Disorders/food issues, and challenges unique to people on the Autism Spectrum, including Asperger's Disorder.

What is different about working with children?

If you've looked at the rest of my site, you'll know that I begin with a careful assessment process, and that is no different with kids.  In addition to the child, I call upon the parents and the child's teachers to give me the "big picture" of the child's life.  Different emotions and behaviors may be seen in these different settings.

Next, we determine a treatment plan which could include any of the traditional and/or alternative techniques appropriately tailored to the child's age, and with full parental support and permission.

With children ages 3-11, there are also special interventions, such as Play Therapy, that are particularly effective.  In fact, for that age group, play therapy is the primary modality that I use.  Research has shown that it is highly effective for all kinds of presenting problems. 

Often I intersperse the child's individual sessions with family sessions, so that parents can ask questions, and receive support and coaching. With parental permission, I communicate with school staff, other teachers or coaches, medical doctors, etc.

thoughts on parenting

As a parent myself, I truly believe that parenting is "the toughest job you'll ever love".   Many of us want to improve upon the parenting we received as children, but we don't know how to do it.  We only know what does not work, and sometimes we try the opposite, but often the opposite choice gives the same net effect.  For example:  if you parents smothered you, you may be big on giving your child space.  The smothered child is abandoned emotionally because the smothering is about the parent's needs and fears.  It is not about what the child needs. The distant parent also abandons the child emotionally by not being involved.  Opposite is simply the other side of the same coin. 

 There is a third option, which is the practice of mindful presence with your child that allows you to see your child for who she is while also observing your own reactions.  From there, you can learn to manage your reactions and become a more effective parent.  You can become more focused on what is best for your child, rather than reacting out of your own issues.  Is it difficult?  You bet!  Is it possible?  Absoultely!  That's where I can help.